I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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