ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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