I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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