We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
