; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
