How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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