It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize