All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
