I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
