Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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