I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
