We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
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