Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
