There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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