I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
