Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
