hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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