____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
