At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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