Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is not my ceiling
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
