I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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