My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
