so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
