It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
