She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
