I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
