She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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