he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
