some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
