I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
