we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
