just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
