just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
