It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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