lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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