JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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