You're my little dorito
Non-Jews are for practice
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
