Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
