I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
