it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
