do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
