dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
