good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
