Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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