I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
