the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
