did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I looked at my own cervix.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
