i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
