But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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