How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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