Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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