That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I supernannyed him into submission
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
