I will die if light touches me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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