Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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