When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
