dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We are all done wearing pants today
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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