i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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