I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Alive.
So much puke
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
