the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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