You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
