One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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